Five Things You WON’T See At Kidabaloo
I'm sorry to disappoint you, guys.
Everybody is super excited for our annual Kidabaloo coming up this weekend. Kids everywhere are ready to get in some bounce houses and obstacle courses, and the parents definitely are ready to do a little shopping. But, we can only fit so much into the Matthewson Exhibition Center and a few things came up here and there. So, sorry, we had to leave out a few things.
Nope, we will not have scores of snakes crawling around the premises. I know you were hoping to meet a giant Boa Constrictor or something when you go to the bathroom, but circumstances didn't allow it. Something about the SPCA. I don't know what all the fuss was about. So we have a few dozen or so dangerous and/or poisonous snakes slithering around unfed? What's the problem?! You got something against Slytherin? That's discrimination, and I won't have that.
2. FIGHT CLUB PIT.
I KNOW. There's just no room for the Steel Cage Octagon of Death unless we move the laser game or something, and they need the outlet in that spot. Maybe next year we can put up the 'Gon outside, where that little patch of dirt is next to the parking. Sorry, guys. Maybe next year. I gotta say, putting my Ric Flair cape away again is going to hurt. One day, friend. One day you'll get your "Woo".
3. KNIFE WIELDING MURDERERS.
The insurance people said no. I personally thought it would be fun for the kiddies to get chased by a murderer, but noooooooooooooooooooo, that's "dangerous" and "illegal" and "cruel". Apparently "someone could get seriously injured". Whatever. What am I going to do with all these incredibly sharp knives? Does anyone need a tin can sliced open? I could do a tomato after that if you want.
I'm not bummed about this one, actually, now that I think about it.
5. GIANT SPIDERS.
This one wasn't our fault. The Giant Spiders "overbooked themselves". Well, that's what they SAID, anyway. I'm not sure I buy it. I think they just didn't want to come. I think the spider community has gotten a little full of itself, to be honest. I mean, come on, Giant Spiders, you think you're too good to come to Sedalia now that you're on the top five list of most common phobias? Sheesh. Isn't that just the way, though. They get a little money, a little power, and then they're just too big for their britches. You know what, FINE. You think you're too good for Kidabaloo? I think we just might have to "leave out" the spider spray at next year's event. See how you like THAT!
Either way, head on out Saturday to the Matthewson Exhibition Center from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. I know it won't be as cool without the knives and the spiders and the snakes and all that, but it should be pretty good.