Husbando Calls Me A Heretic For The Way I Make PB&J Sammitches
First of all, just know, he's not being totally serious.
Maybe a little serious. But it's only because he's so passionate about the most arbitrary things. He's very interested in stuff you would just think would be something kind of mundane.
So let me set this up for you. Husbando is a simple man when it comes to his tastes in food. He likes spice, he doesn't like cream sauces, he's not fan of anything cottage cheese. If it was healthy and he had his way, his diet would consist of chips and salsa, pizza, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Simple, easy stuff that your ten year old probably likes just as much.
Seriously, most days for an afternoon snack it's a PB&J or chips and salsa. And it's not even a little bit modified - never any preserves or crunchy peanut butter. Plain smooth peanut butter, and grape jelly. No raspberry, no strawberry, none of that. And if he's going out to his friend's house, he'll take a couple of packets of crackers, the kind that are little sandwich crackers. What flavor? PB&J, of course.
This past weekend, Husbando was gearing up to go to his friends' house for their Sunday game. He was getting his papers, his backpack, etc. Time to get a snack made. He very politely asked me if I would make him a couple of sandwiches. Of course! I'm a loving, devoted wife, and as long as he doesn't say it in a way that makes my modern woman senses prick up, we're good. I'll make some, sure.
So I got out the bread, the jelly, the peanut butter, a paper towel and.... a spoon. He looked at me as if I had grown a second head. "Who uses a spoon to make peanut butter and jelly!? You use a butter knife! " Well, I don't. You can't get any purchase on the dang jelly with a knife, and if you do, you get huge clumps that are hard to spread out. I just use a spoon, dollop on said jelly, and spread it out. Apparently this had never occurred to him in his 44 years of existence.
Put some jelly on one side of the bread, move on to the other side for the peanut butter. "Now what fresh heresy is that? Why wouldn't you just put the peanut butter with the jelly?!"
"Did you or did you not tell me on more than one occasion that my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are the best?"
A pause. He considers.
"Well, actually, yeah."
"Then this heretic's way of making the sandwiches will not be questioned again."
A moment of reflection... a small nod, and there it was. Winner: Wife.