If You Could Talk To Your Pets, What Would You Say?

Most of us have a pet - or you had one, growing up.   If you have one now, you literally are living with animals.  It's so strange when you sit down and think about it - you're living with something which you may or may not be able to truly communicate.  I know that I have three cats (almost too many) and sometimes I wonder what is going on in those tiny little feline brains of theirs. Just the other day I was thinking about this.  I cut some flowers that were growing in the backyard, and brought them in the house.  It was nice, in a nice vase, etc.  And I know that I've scolded the animals for getting on the table and sniffing or chewing on the flowers.  This isn't new.  I have a spray bottle with water and a little vinegar for just such discouragements.  But I sat there on the couch and watched as one, two, and then three of them all tried to get on the table and chew on the flowers.  I'd spray one, it would run away.  Then the other would come up, I'd spray it, it would run away.  Then the third one, repeat.  You'd think that someone would learn that if you're getting sprayed and you don't like it, you probably shouldn't do the thing that got you sprayed.  But no.  So I guess I would like to sit my animals down and have a real talk with them.  Here are the offenders in question - caught in their normal guises.

I'd ask them things like, "Why do you play with the bread ties and not your toys?"  "Why do you try to jump on the computer desk when I'm working on something?"  "Why do you act like you're starving right before kibble time, and then immediately ignore said kibble once it's in the bowl?"   I guess I'd also like to talk to the squirrels outside of my house.  I'd like to know why they chirp at me when I'm on the porch.  They seem so angry, and it's not like I'm approaching them.  I guess I'd also like to ask them to please eat more acorns.  I'd also like to ask the neighborhood dogs what starts the chain bark - and what on earth is that for?!  And another thing, dogs - I'd like to tell all of you that you'll be OKAY during a thunderstorm.  That might be helpful to get across. Anyway, all of  that got me to thinking, and of course that means that I turn to you.  What would you say if you could talk to animal?  Would you ask them a question?  What would you want to know?  Tell me all about it !

Animally yours,

Behka