Jeff Goldblum

I’d like to think I’m not prone to hyperbole, so believe me when I say I’m putting all my remaining Marvel eggs in the Thor: Ragnarok basket. Sure, I’ve more-or-less enjoyed most of the movies in the franchise  —  this year’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, for example, might be one of their best yet  —  but superhero movies are like anything else: the more you ingest, the less you enjoy it the next time around. If Marvel is going to continue making these movies until the sun explodes, then I’m ready for things to get a little bit weird, and Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi is the right person to deliver.

The electric, neon typography of the Thor: Ragnarok trailers was just one of many things that got us hyped about the Taika Waititi film – Cate Blanchett’s Hela being 99 percent of those other ‘many things.’ Marvel took that psychedelic aesthetic even further with the new poster that dropped at Comic-Con last month, glowing with phosphorescent color. Hopefully you’re not tired of that look just yet because Empire magazine debuted two new Thor: Ragnarok covers full of colorful neon.

Whether you are someone who loved or hated Jurassic World when it first hit theaters, there’s probably something we can all agree on: the movie needed itself some Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum’s Ian Malcolm  —  mathematician-turned-dinosaur-expert-turned-intellectual-action-hero  —  is one of the standouts of both the original Jurassic Park film and its sequel, and the news that Goldblum would be returning for Colin Trevorrow’s sequel was a welcome one. Goldblum may not have been enough to save Independence Day: Resurgence, but its a quantifiable fact that all movies are better with a little bit of his signature ‘ums’ and ‘ahs.’

We’ve seen one look at Andy Samberg’s HBO followup to tennis mockumentary 7 Days in Hell, but the Tour de Pharmacy is only just begun. Get ready for a dope-tastic July premiere with the full trailer and key-art, crammed to the gills with famous faces.

At long last, Andy Samberg’s HBO followup to tennis mockumentary 7 Days in Hell is finally here, as the Brooklyn Nine-Nine star takes on the world of competitive cycling. Watch the star-studded first trailer for Tour de Pharmacy, which itself is already doping up for a July premiere.

We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.

Hotel Artemis just became even more exciting with the addition of four more fantastic cast members: Jeff Goldblum, Jenny Slate, Sterling K. Brown and Charlie Day have all signed on for the feature directorial debut from Iron Man 3 screenwriter Drew Pearce. The quartet of stars join Jodie Foster, who headlines the sci-fi thriller that sounds a little like a futuristic version of the Continental in John Wick — except instead of a hotel for assassins, it’s an underground hospital.

Jeff Goldblum is a National Treasure (like, is Nicolas Cage looking for him, or what?), the latest evidence of which can be found in a charmingly off-kilter new interview, wherein the actor, jazz enthusiast and surprise sausage salesman talks about returning to the Jurassic Park franchise — or, as he likes to call it, “dino-entertainment.” And the series is about to get a whole lot more entertaining now that Dr. Ian Malcolm is back.

We knew Always Sunny cast like Danny DeVito might take additional projects over hiatus, but Jeff Goldblum leading an Amazon series? We will definitely, uh, find a way. The once and future Jurassic Park star will lead a new Amazon musician comedy alongside DeVito, featuring the two as “an iconic music duo from the past.”

Holy freakin’ cow — that is basically the only practical response to tonight’s late-breaking news. Jeff Goldblum is officially returning to the land of the dinosaurs to reprise his iconic role as Dr. Ian Malcolm in the upcoming Jurassic World sequel. Will he remove his shirt? Will he deliver the signature goofy laugh that spawned one of the greatest YouTube remixes of all time? Will he be bringing any of his former co-stars (like Laura Dern, who recently expressed an interest) with him? We have, uh, so many questions.