Ten Missouri Towns That Are Better Names Than Chicago

I'm sure you heard all about the latest crazy celebrity child name.  So yeah, Kim and Kanye have named their poor child Chicago (although I have to admit, I've seen the picture and that kid is CUTE). I guess it could be worse. They could have named her.... Footfungus or something. But there are so many other beautiful names out there! Heck, you could look at some towns in Missouri and get a better name than Chicago! Here, I'll list a few for you.

Adrian. 

There you go, completely normal, unisex name. I see Adrian as the kind of person who likes reading a book by the window on a cold, rainy day.

Bellflower.

You could even indulge the weird celebrity name thing here, and imitate Beyonce at the same time. Isn't one of her kids named Blue Ivy? Perfect.

Champ.

I bet Kanye would like that one. After all, isn't he always telling us he's the best?

Verona. 

You could go old school here, kind of like naming your kid Pearl.

Tina. 

OR YOU COULD JUST NAME YOUR KID SOMETHING NORMAL, LIKE THE TOWN OF TINA. Tina is a fine name. Tina Turner could be an inspiration!

Shelbina. 

See, and this one sounds a little like a southern charming name, like the Julia Roberts character in Steel Magnolias.

Kingston.

And yet another name you could give to your child that would be on trend. Isn't one of Gwen Stefani's kids named Kingston? Precedent!

Naylor.

This could be a less common variant on another huge name, Taylor. Like Taylor Swift! Oh, wait....

Stella. 

Not only could you have a name of a great town, but people would shout it at you Marlon Brando style!

Frohna.

It sounds like a flower or something. Either way, better than freggin' CHICAGO.

Namily yours,
Behka