The Ten Types of Guys You’ll Meet Out At The Fairgrounds
The Missouri State Fair is here, you know that. You've probably been out there a couple of times. And you definitely get some interesting characters out there. I'm sure you've done a bit of people watching while you're browsing the buildings, or when your kids are on a ride at the carnival. So there are definitely some types of dudes I've noticed over the past few days.
1. The Air Force Dude.
With Whiteman being so close to us, you're bound to see a few of these dudes around the corner. You probably saw them in a group of at least four or five.
2. The Overalls Dude.
You might even BE this dude. You can tell he's all about efficiency: He does not have time for anything other than a convenient way to put pants on without a belt. Now if you see the Overalls With No Shirt Dude, that's a different animal.
3. The Workout Dude.
You know that guy, he probably uses the word "swole". He deliberately wears a shirt that's about two sizes too small, and takes a lot of selfies. Sure, he worked hard for it, and he deserves to be proud - but he WILL ask you if you even lift.
4. The Rude Dude.
I just ran into one of these yesterday! I was out to get my annual corn dog, and I was waiting in line behind a family of about four. He and his ladyfriend got in line behind me, and I was next. Then, dude just steps up, gestures to the lady, and CUT ME IN THE LINE. You don't mess with a lady's corndog, bro. Not cool.
5. The Super Drunk Dude.
We see quite a few of these, since our outpost is right across from the Bud Tent and nearby the Wine Tent. You know the guy, he's probably seen every show but not really paid attention because he was trying to chat up the waitress or he was looking for that girl that maybe gave him two seconds of eye contact three hours ago. If you see him, remind him that he needs to call a taxi.
6. The Angry Dude.
There's always somebody out there on the grounds who is ready to ruin everyone else's good time. It's usually after a concert that you'll spot this guy - out in a crowd and ready to fight. And oftentimes, for no good reason! Seriously, dude - you do not need to fight the guy who accidentally brushed up against you with his plate of funnel cake.
7. The Entitled Dude.
You know this guy - the "Do You Know Who I Am?" guy. There are quite a few of these in ladyform, too. They're just SOOOOO important, and everything should be comped for him. He's definitely not tipping anybody in the Bud Tent because they should be lucky that he's even around them. They're probably going to ask someone to see their manager. He's the type who has about seven thousand friends on Facebook, but maybe three in real life.
8. The Old Dude.
I love me an old dude. They're usually super chill, and just here to see the sights. They have no problem with you, they will never cause a problem, and they're probably going to say "Howdy" in the line at the Pork Place. He's here for his Pork Chop Dinner, and he's as sweet as tea. He's probably there with his grandchildren, and while he might not go on the rides, he'll help them answer Otto's questions when they get shy.
9. The Dancing Dude.
He's a rare one, but a great one. You're probably going to see him at the back of the Pepsi Grandstand, before you go down to the track. He found a groove and he's keepin it going. He's probably a little sweaty but he's careful with his beer. He's got the moves and he's not shy to share 'em.
10. The Hipster Dude.
He's got his ripped jeans, probably a black shirt, and impossible hair. Almost always a set of Chuck Taylors are on his feet, and he's probably wearing glasses he doesn't need. Most likely, he's out there ironically. He's eating that corn dog, but he's rolling his eyes while he does it.
Do you know some of these dudes? What are some others you've seen on the grounds this year? Let me know in the comments!