"Everything's just kind of this blur, you know?" murmurs Natasha Bassett in the leaked teaser for Lifetime's forthcoming unauthorized Britney Spears bio-pic. And truly, it is... though not the kind we'd like it to be.

After it aired on television, enterprising fans began sharing footage from the debut trailer for the infamously cheesy network's upcoming Britney Ever After on social media.

In the brief yet discouraging clip, Australian actress Bassett, through no fault of her own, bares little resemblance to Spears or her iconoclastic sparkle. (However, she does, admittedly, do a fairly convincing job mimicking Spears' trademark Southern vocal fry without it coming off too caricaturesque.)

Premiering Saturday, February 18, we still have just under a month to go before the inevitable trainwreck smashes into our collective television screens. (And before you shriek, "Give it a chance!" we'll simply direct your attention to Lifetime's mind-boggling treatment of the late Brittany Murphy, the recipient of a film so heinously bad and horrifyingly miscast, TIME said "it makes the Anna Nicole Smith biopic look like an art film.")

Anyway, let us "Break the Ice"—watch below:

These Stars (Rightfully) Stan For Britney Spears:

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